不婚不生浪潮升溫： 全球最低生育率背後，單身係自由定係遺憾？｜ 愛情顧問解說
🌐 English version
The Rise of Singlehood and Childfree Life: Freedom or Regret? — A Love Advisor Explains
📰 What Happened
"Not marrying and not having kids" has gone from a casual remark to a real trend across Chinese-speaking societies. Look at a few numbers: Taiwan's birth rate has fallen to the world's lowest, and the number of marriages has also hit a record low; a survey by Academia Sinica found that nearly 30% of unmarried adults have "never dated at all" (the so-called "single since birth"). Hong Kong isn't faring much better — official statistics show the number of newborns has been falling year after year, dropping below 30,000 in the latest year.
From "marrying late" to "not marrying at all", and from "having fewer children" to "having none", this trend doesn't just affect population structure — it reflects how a whole generation's attitude towards love and marriage has completely changed from the previous generation's.
👩💼 The Advisor's Take: Not Marrying, Not Having Kids — A Choice, or No Choice?
In my years as a love advisor, I've found one crucial distinction: even when two people are both "single with no kids", what's behind it can be worlds apart. Many people hear "not marrying, not having kids" and immediately label it "selfish" or "pitiful", but it really needs to be separated out — some choose it, some accept it passively, and some want to marry but simply can't find the right person.
① The Active Choosers: I know what life I want
These people are single not because nobody wants them, but because they genuinely enjoy life on their own. Financially independent, with a rich life and good friends, love is a "nice to have" rather than a "must". This kind of singlehood is a form of freedom — they don't reject love, they just refuse to force themselves for the sake of "everyone else has it".
② The Passive Accepters: wanting to find someone, but can't
This is the group that deserves the most attention. Deep down they want to date and marry, but because of busy work, a narrow social circle, or high standards, they never meet the right person. Over time, "I want to marry" slowly turns into "I don't dare think about it", and then "forget it, being alone is fine" — but behind that "forget it", there's a lot of hidden disappointment.
③ The Economic Realists: it's not that they don't want to, it's that they can't afford it
Hong Kong's property prices are high and raising a child is expensive — these are very real considerations. Many people don't not want to marry and have kids; after doing the sums, they find they "can't afford it", and would rather live a lighter life alone. This kind of "not marrying, not having kids" is a choice forced by life.
So "not marrying and not having kids" can't be painted with one brush. As a love advisor, I want to say: active singlehood is freedom, passive singlehood is regret — and often the difference isn't whether you "choose", but whether you "have a choice".
💡 What You Can Learn
First, don't let society push you into marrying or having kids. Marriage and children are life options, not homework to hand in. If you genuinely don't want them, there's no need to force yourself because relatives are nagging or friends are all getting married. A person's worth isn't defined by whether they've married or had kids.
Second, tell the difference between "don't want to" and "don't dare to". If you actively enjoy singlehood, congratulations — enjoy it. But if you actually want to date and marry, and only gave up because you're "afraid of getting hurt", "afraid of the hassle", or "feel you have no chance" — then think carefully about whether that's really the outcome you want. Love won't knock on your door by itself; be a bit more proactive, and you'll have a chance.
Third, if you have a partner but don't want kids — honest communication comes first. Many couples, one wants children and the other doesn't, and they avoid the topic out of fear of arguing, until the relationship itself falls apart. These things are best discussed early — whether you want kids, how many, and when. Find out early whether you're aligned, rather than discovering it after marriage, when you've already hit a marriage crisis.
If you're wondering whether you're "enjoying singlehood" or "stuck in singlehood", want to find a partner but don't know where to start, or can't agree with your partner on whether to have kids — don't overthink it alone. Talk to a LoveWise love advisor, and we'll look at it together with you 💕
📰 事件背景
「不婚不生」近年由一句戲言，變成華人社會真真正正嘅趨勢。先睇幾個數字：台灣生育率跌到全球最低，結婚對數亦創下歷史新低；中研院調查更發現，未婚成年人入面「母胎單身」（從來未拍過拖）嘅比例高達近三成。香港亦唔好得幾多——統計處數字顯示，本港新生嬰兒數目持續下跌，最新一年已經跌穿三萬大關。
由「遲婚」到「不婚」、由「少生」到「不生」，呢個趨勢唔單止影響人口結構，更反映咗一代人對愛情同婚姻嘅態度，已經同上一代完全唔同。
👩💼 顧問分析：不婚不生，係「揀」定「冇得揀」？
我做愛情顧問咁耐，發現一個好關鍵嘅分別：同樣係「單身、冇小朋友」，背後嘅心態可以差天共地。好多人一聽到「不婚不生」就標籤做「自私」或者「可憐」，但其實要分開睇——有人係主動選擇，有人係被動接受，有人係想結婚但搵唔到對象。
① 主動選擇型：我清楚自己想要咩生活
呢類人單身，唔係冇人要，而係佢哋真心享受一個人嘅生活。經濟獨立、生活豐富、朋友多，愛情對佢哋嚟講係「有更好，冇都OK」。呢種單身，係一種「自由」——佢哋唔抗拒愛情，只係唔會為咗「人有我有」而勉強自己。
② 被動接受型：想搵，但搵唔到啱嘅人
呢類人先係最需要關注嘅一群。佢哋心入面想拍拖、想結婚，但因為工作忙、社交圈子窄、或者要求高，一直遇唔到啱嘅對象。日子一長，就由「想結」慢慢變成「唔敢諗」、再變成「算啦，一個人咪幾好」——但呢句「算啦」背後，其實藏住好多失落。
③ 經濟現實型：唔係唔想，係真係負擔唔起
香港樓價貴、養一個小朋友成本高，呢啲都係好現實嘅考慮。唔少人唔係唔想結婚生仔，而係計過條數之後，發現「負擔唔起」，寧願選擇一個人過得輕鬆啲。呢種「不婚不生」，其實係被生活逼出嚟嘅選擇。
所以「不婚不生」唔可以一刀切。作為愛情顧問，我想講：主動嘅單身係自由，被動嘅單身係遺憾——而好多時，個分別唔係你「揀唔揀」，而係你有冇「得揀」。
💡 普通人啟示
第一，唔好俾社會迫婚迫生。結婚生仔係人生選項，唔係「交功課」。如果你真心唔想，冇必要因為親戚催、朋友結晒婚而勉強自己。一個人嘅價值，唔係由「有冇結婚生仔」嚟定義。
第二，但都要分清楚，自己係「唔想」定「唔敢」。如果你係主動享受單身，咁恭喜你，好好享受；但如果你其實想拍拖、想結婚，只係因為「怕受傷」「怕麻煩」「覺得自己冇機會」而放棄——咁就要諗清楚，呢啲係唔係你真正想要嘅結果。愛情唔會無啦啦嚟敲門，主動啲，先有機會。
第三，有伴侶但唔想生？坦誠溝通係第一步。唔少情侶，一個想生一個唔想生，因為「怕嘈」而唔敢傾，最後拖到感情都散埋。其實呢啲嘢，愈早傾愈好——想唔想生、生幾個、幾時生，係咪一致，一早講清楚，好過婚後先發現，行到婚姻危機先後悔。
如果你都喺度諗：自己係「享受單身」定「無奈單身」、想搵伴侶又唔知點開始、或者同另一半就「生唔生」傾唔埋——唔好一個人死諗。搵 LoveWise 嘅愛情顧問傾下，我哋陪你一齊睇清楚 💕